Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
