around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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