Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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