Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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