I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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