oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
