i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
