i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
