For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
