I don't think brook has ever known best
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
