Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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