wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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