i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
