Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
