My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize