Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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