I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
