oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize