Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
