Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
