I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize