My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
