I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
