so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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