At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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