once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
