He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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