Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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