Cold hands, warm shart.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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