you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
There are leaves in my underwear?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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