About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize