The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Is it penis luge time yet?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
