Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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