please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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