I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
