just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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