debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
