Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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