dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
