Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be naked everywhere
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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