Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
