No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
