I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
