Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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