Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
