Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
