I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
