nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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