She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
