My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
