You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
