My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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