hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize