You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Nicole vs. Life
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
