Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
