Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
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it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
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Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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