Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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