Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
