found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
