Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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