i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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