I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
