shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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