drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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