I murdered the dance floor call the cops
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
