oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
