i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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